Saturday 8 February 2014

Too young to be a mum?

I was only 21 when I had Sienna and 20 when I found out I was pregnant. She wasn't planned, we weren't ready financially and I felt that everyone looked at me like a young, chavvy mum who got pregnant on purpose. (I'm not chavvy, I promise!)

Too young to be a mum?
I was 21 weeks on my 21st birthday!

I have 3 younger brothers and was very involved at bringing them up, when my 2nd brother was born, I was just 7 years old and helped out feeding him and even doing his nappy. When he was a little older, around 18 months, he even used to wake up in the night and come and get in my bed with me to sleep. Usually, toddlers get in their parents beds! Looking back now, I can't believe I was only 7 years old, I couldn't imagine Sienna doing that when she is 7.. I guess I have always felt much older and wiser than my years and a few people have pointed this out as well. 

By the time I was around 15, I was buying Easy Living magazine and started collecting the freebies for the day I moved out and could create my own family home. We even have one of the tea towels in our kitchen that was a freebie from back then. I find it funny and crazy now.. I was counting down the days I could class myself as a housewife and then finally, my ultimate dream, a mum. 

It wasn't that I didn't want to work or have any career aspirations, I just always knew that all I ever wanted was to get married and be a mummy. A lot of mums who have surprise pregnancies at a young age feel like they have lost themselves, their lives are over or they mourn the life they will never have. Various Facebook statuses moaning 'I can't believe I am staying in again tonight' or 'Wish I could go and get bladdered tonight but have no babysitter' proves this. (Now where's that delete button?)

I really felt like my life had just begun and could/can only get better. I have never been much of a drinker or party goer, call me old and boring but I'd much rather be at home on the sofa with a cup of green tea! That is just the way I am and I felt there was no career choice or partying lifestyle that could compare to the fun, satisfaction and reward of being a mum. And I proved myself right. (I hope that doesn't make me sound incredibly boring!)

At baby group with Sienna, there was a clear divide between the younger and older mums. I was always pushed towards the younger mums group because of my age but I desperately wanted to be invited into the older mums group. I would listen into their conversation and think 'I have some advice for this' or 'I know exactly what you mean' but could never voice it. I think they thought I wouldn't have a clue or wasn't old enough to have anything worthwhile or knowledgable to say. I spent most of the time, sat with the younger mums just zoning out. In the end, we stopped going.

I guess what I am trying to say is that being a Mum is not about age. I know some mums who are my age or younger and I deem them to be much better parents than some older ones I know. Don't get me wrong, it is not better to be a young mum and I know there are some 'bad' young mums out there, but we shouldn't all be tarred with the same brush. It was sad that I felt left out and judged because of my age or because I look young.

I hope that next time round, I can find the confidence in myself to not let other people's judgements about age get to me as I will hopefully still be quite young but much more knowledgeable!

What are your thoughts on young mums? Do you judge us?
*NOT a sponsored post!*

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