Thursday 1 February 2018

How pregnancy stole my wife...

Hello everyone! 

Kerry has finally caved in and allowed me to officially make a post on her blog! 
*small crowd cheering* 
I am hopefully going to be appearing on here a lot more regularly from now on & giving you all some more of my dad thoughts and opinions on all kinds of stuff, so please read on below & leave me a comment if you enjoyed my first post! 

For those who don't know me already from our vlogs, instagrams etc, etc,.. Hi, I'm Warren, husband to Kerry and dad to our two crazy girls, with baby number 3 on the way (ahhhhh! More on that to come in another post soon too). 

So here it is, this is how pregnancy stole my wife... 

Before I start, let me say this, I am extremely grateful & thankful for the amazing children we already have & we are so lucky to be having a healthy pregnancy again so far this time around too & I take absolutely nothing for granted! This is the 4th time we have got past the 12 week mark & for many people this would be around about the time they would make a joyous, beautiful pregnancy announcement. Not us. Pregnancy in our house is mentally and physically exhausting. Pretty much from day 1 of Kerry being late it all begins. 

Kerry becomes exhausted, the headaches start, the nausea starts, the sickness kicks in, the cravings kick in. This may seem like usual symptoms to many and yes these are all good signs, but here is the thing, none of them, no matter how 'good' they seem are enjoyable. We literally find ourselves 'just getting through the days'.

With our first, it was ok I guess, I'd go to work, Kerry could stay in bed or have her head down the toilet all day, I'd get home, eat my dinner on my own in our little flat whilst Kerry sleeps/throws up all evening. But it didn't matter, we just had to get through it. 

With our 2nd it was similar, the sickness wasn't as bad but the headaches and exhaustion was real. Kerry would basically sleepwalk through the nursery run with Sienna, then she would get home and try to sleep most of the day whilst I was at work, just so that she had the energy to get back out the house to collect Sienna from nursery. On the days I was able to do the nursery run, of course I would but some days I am on the house by 7am and not back until 6pm.

But now, the 3rd time, OH. MY... Things are hard, we have two amazing, incredible girls who require full on attention and stimulation Every. Single. Day. Sienna goes to school so that helps but Aria isn't even two yet and not in any childcare, so she's still very dependant on Kerry to look after her all day, she won't even sit still and watch TV for any longer than 20 minutes usually. 

Most days go somewhat like this... 5:30am the girls wake up, Kerry can't even talk at this point, maybe she can get her PJ's on and make it downstairs before the sickness happens, maybe she can't. The kids are running around screaming for breakfast & juice, whatever. Kerry needs to eat but can't because she's being sick, the kids are crying because mummy is being sick. 

I'm trying to tell them it's ok, mummy is fine, I'm rubbing her back, I'm holding her hair, It's only 6am, I have a meeting 150 miles away due to start in 2 hours & I'm still stood in the hallway, in my pants with cheerios stuck to the bottom of my feet. I have to leave Kerry being sick, hope the kids don't throw their breakfast everywhere and get ready for work. Before I leave I try and get Sienna dressed for school, teeth brushed, hair done & shoes on then rush out the door to make it to work on time, hoping Kerry can muster the energy to get the kids in the car, do the school run and get home safely. 

I get home around 5:30pm most days, Kerry is usually wiped out, she's made the school run ok & everyone is back alive so it's all good. I get the kids dinner, bath them, read a story & get them in to bed, Kerry helps as much as she can but that's not always a lot given her current condition. 

Kerry may come and sit with me for an hour or so in the evenings but most nights she is in bed with a headache or nausea right after the kids are in bed too. I'll sit on my own for a few hours most evenings, crawl into bed so I don't wake her up & wait for the process to repeat itself... somedays, I genuinely don't think we even get to say more the 4/5 sentences to each other. I miss her.

I know Kerry doesn't want to feel like this, she doesn't want to feel exhausted & sick all day everyday, but she does and it's hard for all of us.

She wants to be the best mother & wife she can be but it's just not physically possible. I wish pregnancy was a joyous, beautiful experience for us & that we could be one of those couples who enjoy and embrace every single second of pregnancy but to be honest, August can not come quick enough! 

I just can't wait to have my usual wonderful, bubbly, happy wife & girls mum back in our lives but we know it will all be so worth it in the long run. 

Thanks for reading, please leave me comment & come follow me on instagram if you don't already!

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