Putting myself first..

Last week was a hard week, I'm sure you may have seen on my YouTube or Instagram that I was struggling a bit. It was one of those weeks where nothing seemed to go to plan, I was in a bit of a downer anyway due to hormones and was ill, on top of that the girls seemed to be off as well.

Aria seemed to be hating life too. She wouldn't let me put her down, was refusing her naps and food and hated going anywhere in the car, even 10 minutes to take Sienna to pre-school. It felt like she screamed all week long and I couldn't get anything right.  

The same with Sienna.. I would try and plan fun things to do but it wasn't what she wanted to do or it wasn't fun enough. I was horrible because I wouldn't let her eat chocolate all day long or because I asked her to tidy up her toys that she dragged out just after I tidied them all away in the first place.

I woke up on Wednesday feeling fine, but I rapidly went down hill. I couldn't stand up without feeling so dizzy and sick, I basically led on the sofa all day. I tried to nap when Aria napped, but I couldn't relax. I was led in bed desperately trying to switch off and just sleep so I felt better, but I had 10 thousands thoughts swirling round my head. I was panicking that because I felt so bad, I wasn't going to be able to look after the girls properly. It was the most horrible feeling.

I think I had a bit of a virus as Aria had a funny tummy too, but I also know I haven't been taking care of myself very well. I'm so busy all the time, I rush from one thing to the next and sometimes I don't even eat as I feel I haven't got time. How silly is that? It's no wonder I haven't been feeling great.

So I have made a vow to try and take better care myself and take some time out for me. I'm always bottom of the list, after the girls, the husband, work, washing, cleaning... but as the saying goes 'You can't pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first'.

So whether it's having a glass of wine of an evening, watching a film with the husband, going shopping for an hour ON MY OWN or ordering some new pampering products with a Boots discount code, I'm going to take some time out for me and NOT feel guilty for it, as being better to myself will ensure I'm a better mother & wife.

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